It's my party
by Yami Maleci
Summary: It's my 18th bday gift to myself. Clubbing, kinky birthday gifts and fun galor! Random anime appearceaces as well! Please Read and Review!
1. Tampon Issues

Kai: (singing horribly off key) Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me!

Bakura: (covering his ears) Good lord, shut up!

Malik: (sighing) This is even worse then her fan fics.

Kai: (glares) I heard that, you guys can't even be nice to me…and on my birthday no less

Ryou: Ah Kai, your birthday was on the 27th

Kai: (twitch) And?

Ryou: It's not the 27th anymore.

Kai: (smacks Ryou) Let's start the fic instead!

Tanith: Good idea Kai!

Kai and Tanith: We don't own YGO or any other anime that happens to pop up! Please R/R!

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Bakura yami Bakura

Ryou good Bakura

Maleci Yami Kai

Kai good Kai

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Bakura growled as he waited for someone to answer the phone at Kai's house. "Pick up damnit," he muttered as a familiar voice picked up and gave a usual insult.

"Well, to what do I owe the honor?" Maleci greeted as she answered the phone.

"What's taking so long Yami no Kai?" Bakura questioned irritated as his hikari gave him a funny look from the other side of the room. "You should have been here by now."

Maleci gave an exasperated sigh. "There's no need to get your underwear in a bunch," she stated before she was cut off by a shout.

"What was that?"

Maleci chuckled. "That would be my hikari," she replied, "she's having tampon issues, something about feeling funny and in the wrong way."

Bakura let out a snort. "How does one get it in the _wrong way_?" he inquired as he got yet another odd look from Ryou. "What'd Kai do, stick it up the wrong hole?"

"Since when are you the supreme authority on tampons?"

There was a long silence on Bakura's end before a 'Don't ask' then a click, signaling he had hung up on her. Maleci snickered to herself as Kai walked down the stairs, giving her an odd look in the process. "Who was that?" Kai asked as she finished putting her hair in a spiky bun.

"Yami Bakura," the purple haired yami answered as he checked herself in the mirror to make sure there was nothing out of place with her outfit, which consisted of a black tub top, and skin tight black pants. The only thing different about her and her hikari was the Kai had on her usual black duster as well, "and now he seems to think he's the authority on tampons and such."

Kai made a face as she went to go answer the door. "Yami, you suck!" she stated as she opened the door to reveal a red haired girl wearing a red tank-top and a black mini skirt, "Tanith!"

Tanith smiled as she stepped into Kai's apartment. "Happy Birthday Kai-chan!" she shouted.

….Meanwhile, at the Bakura household

"Yami, dare I ask what you and Kai's yami where talking about?" Ryou questioned as he looked up from the book he was reading.

Bakura grinned. "Nothing to worry your sweet head about, Ryou," he stated eyeing his hikari, whom he preferred to stay innocent, "I just had a little fun at Kai-ba girl's expense."

Ryou sighed. "Yami, shouldn't you be a little nicer?" he asked. "It's is her birthday after all."

Bakura's grin got wider, which it only did when he was plotting something. "Oh don't be like that, Yadonoshi," he remarked, "now come, let us get ready for the party!"

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Kai: (glares at Yami B) I don't like this, I'm the only one allowed to plot

Yami Bakura: Revenge fan girl….REVENGE!

Ryou: (face fault) And that's the guy I have to share a body with

Yami Bakura: WHAT WAS THAT YADONOSHI!

Kai: I feel sorry for you Ryou

Ryou: Me too, it's like "thanks dad, you brought me home a psycho."

Yami Bakura: I am NOT a psycho!

Watari: (sweatdrops) Please R/R!


	2. To the club

Kai: (blinks) Wow, this is odd

Ryou: What's odd, dare I ask

Kai: I only have 3 reviews…I just thought people would like it a little more then that.

Bakura: Maybe they'd like it a little more if you'd what's the word I'm thinking of Yadonoshi?

Ryou: (cowers behind Yami B.) Update!

Kai: Don't make me kill you both

Tanith: I would agree with Kai, it's best not to plush the (cough) not updating subject.

Kai: (sighs) Not you too Tan-chan! I don't own YGO, or Tan-chan cuz that would be weird... Please R/R!

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Bakura growled impatiently as his hikari ran the door bell on Kai's apartment for the 4th time in a row. "What…has she somehow gone deaf in the 15 minutes it takes to get over to this dump?" he questioned irritated as someone finally answered the door.

"Happy birthday Kai-chan!" Ryou remarked as Kai allowed them to enter into her living room where Tanith was currently was keeping everyone entertained by juggling tampons with her telekinesis powers.

Bakura scowled. "That's not funny, hitokage." he grumbled as he sat down on the couch next to Malik, who muttered, 'Show off.'

Tanith glared at the blonde. "I heard that Blondie," she stated throwing one of the tampons at his head. Malik promptly began to scream 'Get it off, get it off!' as everyone else gave him a funny look.

"How bout we head to the club instead of flinging feminine hygiene products at Ishtar?" Kai suggested as she walked towards the door with Tanith giving her a shrug before following suit.

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Kaiba sighed as he paced around the bar earning himself strange looks from Yugi, Yami and Joey. "Where the hell are they?" he growled as he took a sip of his drink.

Yami rolled his eyes. "Why do you care Kaiba?" he asked as he played with one of those drink umbrellas. "I thought you didn't even like Kai or Tanith for that matter."

Kaiba growled and was about to say a witty remark when he was interrupted by Joey's big mouth yelling. "There they are!" and sure enough, Kai's entire group was there walking towards them with Kai hanging one Bakura like he was her sugar daddy and Tanith seemed to have Ryou wrapped around her little finger.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow at the sight. "What the hell took so long?" he questioned glaring at the birthday girl. "Or did Bakura and his lackey deicide to have an orgy at your house?"

Bakura rolled his eyes at the CEO. "You're just jealous because I've got all the girls to myself," he bragged, "while the only dates you seem to have seemed to have come up with is Pharaoh, his midget and the puppy."

Kaiba stood there, mouth gapping open at the spirit's comment. "Shut up!" was all he managed to spit out before being dragged to the dance floor by Isis.

Bakura raised an eyebrow at the two before ordering his girls a drink. "So the great Kaiba-boy can get a piece of ass after all," he mused as he fed Kai the cherry from her kiddy cocktail, "who'd a thought."

"My sister is not just a _piece of ass_ Bakura!" he yelled glaring at him.

"I'd say she's a fine piece of ass," a figure remarked as it appeared from the floor nearly giving Joey a heart attack.

"Shadi, haven't you ever heard a door?"

Shadi though for a moment before he spoke. "I think I used one…once"

Tanith rolled her eyes. "I rest my case," she stated as she gave Kai a sly glance before dragging Ryou to the dance floor, "Come on I came to dance!"

Kai just shrugged before following suit. "I guess we're going to dance now Bakura." she stated as Ryou's other half followed her, a grin plastered on his face.

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Kai: And that's where the chaos will end for now

Bakura: Not much of an update Kai

Kai: It's still a bloody update (sighs) and unfortunately I think Reverence is calling for an update too.

Okita: (shakes head) No, really that's okay Kai-chan.

Kai: (mutters) Baby…Please R/R!


	3. La Tortura

Kai: This sucks!

Tanith: What sucks, Kai?

Kai: I have to write a dance scene

Tanith: Oh it can't be _that_ bad.

Kai: (sweatdrops) You have no idea

Bakura: This I gotta see!

Kai: (smacks Yami B) You're not helping!

Ryou: (sighs) Before they kill each other we might as well start the chapter!

Tanith: Good idea sweets, Kai doesn't own YGO or Tanith! Please R/R!

Kai: I also don't own the lyrics to the song "La Tortura" By: Shakria feat. Alejandro Sanz and forgive the fact that the have no accents since I have no idea how to do that on the puter (sweatdrops)

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Sanz

_Ay payita mia_

_Guardate la poesía_

_Guardate la alegría pa' ti_

Shakria

_No pido que todos los dias sean de sol_

_No pido que todos los viernes sean de fiesta_

_Tampoco te pido que vuelvas rogando perdon_

_Si lloras con los ojos secos_

_Y halbando de ella_

Sanz

_Me duele tanto_

Shakira

_Que te fueras sin decir a donde_

_Ay amor, fue una tortura perderte_

Kai smiled as Bakura twirled her on the dance floor nearly knocking Kaiba into a near by vending machine, causing the two to enjoy a laugh at the sight of Mr. Kaiba's saving ability. "Watch where you're going brat!" Kaiba growled before he went back to dancing far to close to Malik's sister. Kai simply shrugged and went back towards Tanith, who was busy shaking her ass at Ryou who was turning a dark shade of red at the view,.

Upon seeing her get close enough, Bakura grabbed a hold of Kai and spun her around and then pulled her close whispering some of the lyrics. "Yo se que no he sido un santo. Pero lo puedo arreglar amor," he sang in surprising perfect Spanish before grinning, "You're turn." he whispered in exotic tone of voice.

Kai rolled her eyes, wondering where in the world he'd learned to speak Spanish, but then again he had been around for awhile so she decided to humor him and started to sing her part. "No solo de pan vive el hombre Y no de excusas vivo yo." Kai moved closer to the white haired boy so she could wrap her arms loosely around his neck and play with his hair, while Bakura took the opportunity to put his hands on her butt.

Tanith raised an eyebrow at how close the two where dancing. "Now why can't the little hikari do that with me?" she muttered as she decided to take matters into her own hands and began to dirty dance with Ryou, who tried to look to his Yami for help and pouted when he was ignored. Bakura was too busy dancing and singing back and forth with Kai to really care if his Yadonoshi was having girl problems. Besides, the puss would have to grow up sooner of later especially with such obvious hints coming from Tanith.

Sanz

_Solo de errors se aprende_

_Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazon._

Shakira

_Mejor te guardas todo eso_

_A otro perro con ese hueso_

_Y nos decimos adios_

_No puedo pedir que el invierno perdone a un rosal_

_No puedo pedir a los olmos que entreguen peras_

_No puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal_

_Y andar arrjando a los credos miles de perlas_

Sanz

_Ay amor me duele tanto_

_Me duele tanto_

_Que no creas mas en mis promesas_

Shakria

_Ay amor es una tortura perderte_

Meanwhile back at the bar, Joey was standing with Maleci, the two Yuugis, Malik and his Yami and Shadi. "Man that's not fair," Joey complained as he sipped Mountain Dew and watched Kai and Bakura dance. "Why is it that every girl wants to shake their ass at that dead guy? Is that what I have to do to get a girl around here, be dead and imprisoned in a gold object?"

Maleci raised her eyebrow at the comment. "Are you saying you'd like me to kill you, annoying mortal that talks too much?" she inquired smirking at the blonde as she sipped her own drink. "I'm sure Pharaoh could even put you in your own object" Kai's darker half stole a glance at Yami, who was scowling at her.

Yugi giggled nervously. "Hey Maleci, what'd'ya say we go dance instead of killing my best friend?" he suggested extending a hand to the spirit of the Sennen Star. Maleci took the offered hand and walked out to the dance floor where Tanith and Kai were and began dancing.

Joey sighed again. "Even Yugi is dancing with a chick, and he's half her size!" he remarked.

Malik grinned as he also made his way to the floor. "Face it Wheeler, you just suck!" he stated before entering the crowd.

"What'd you say Ishtar!" Joey shouted back. "At least I didn't get my ass handed to me by a girl!"

Sanz

_Yo se que he sido un santo_

_Pero lo puedo arreglar amor_

Shakira

_No solo de pan vive el hombre_

_Y no de excusas vivo yo._

Sanz

_Solo de errores se aprende_

_Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazon_

Shakria

_Mejor te guardas todo eso_

_A otro perro con ese hueso_

_Y nos decimos adios_

Bakura grinned before deciding to wrap his arms around Kai's stomach, it made it easier to move with her as she swayed her hips and butt back and forth." No te bajes, no te bajes. Oye negrita mira, no te rajes. De lunes a viernes tienes mi amor. Dejame el sabado a mi que es mejor. Oye mi negra no me castigues mas," he sang as he kissed the back of Kai's neck causing her to shiver slightly. "Porque alla afuera sin ti no tengo paz. Yo solo soy un hombre arrepentido. Soy como el ave que vuelve a su nido."

Sanz

_Yo se que no he sido un santo_

_y es que no estoy hecho do carton_

Kai smirked; she was defiantly enjoying her birthday so far as well as all the attention Bakura was sending in her direction. "No solo de pan vive el hombre. Y no de excusas vivo yo." she sang Bakura twirled her again.

Sanz

_Solo de errores se aprende_

_Y hoy se que es tuyo my corazon_

Shakira

_Ay, ay, ay, ay_

_Ay, todo lo que he hecho por ti _

_Fue una_ _tortura perderte_

_Me duele tanto que sea asi_

_Sigue llorando perdon_

_Yo.,. yo no voy_

_A lorar por ti_

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Kai: Well that's it!

Acko: What's it?

Kai: The end of the ch

Acko: Oh...right

Kai: And thanks to your help it got done! (huggles)

Acko: (sweatdrop) Nice to know I'm usefull (chokes) Kai, can't breathe

Kai: (blink) What?

Okita: Please R/R!


End file.
